


Lavender and Vanilla.

by psyleedee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Banter, Body Dysphoria, Caring Dean Winchester, Comforting Dean Winchester, Crying, Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Infidelity Outside of Castiel/Dean Winchester, Insecure Castiel (Supernatural), Insecurity, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Mood Swings, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Overthinking, Pregnancy, Pregnant Castiel (Supernatural), Schmoop, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyleedee/pseuds/psyleedee
Summary: "I think you should find someone else. Someone prettier, someone who doesn't get mad at you, or snap at you for little things, someone who knows how to be a good mate. You should find someone else, Dean. Like Victor did."It's a second after Castiel has finished speaking where Dean feels his heart shatter into a million, tiny pieces."Alright," He whispers into the silence, waiting for Castiel's reaction."Alright?"Castiel asks, as if it's not what he expected Dean to answer."Alright. I'll find someone pretty. I'll find someone who can cook and sweep. I'll find someone who doesn't get mad at me. I'll find someone who isn't big and fat with my pup. And then what?"
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 20
Kudos: 423





	Lavender and Vanilla.

**Author's Note:**

> have some pregnancy schmoop i wrote at 9.44 am on the toilet seat three minutes after i woke up.

When Dean returns home at a little past eight, he expects his beautiful, pregnant mate to be in their apartment kitchen, as he always is, but somehow, the kitchen is empty. So, he decides to look around. It's not as big as a suburban house, not as many rooms, so it would be easy to spot a tiny, pregnant omega _somewhere_.

The living room is empty, with boxes of Chinese take-out lying on the coffee table.

The study, where Castiel usually spends hours sitting and writing and reading, is also empty.

The guest-room-now-converted-to-the-pup's-room is also empty, with the only clue about Castiel's arrival being the stack of books in a shelf. Dean had received Castiel message of wanting to go book shopping, and well, could he ever deny his omega anything?

All that lingers in the air, however, is the faint trace of lavender, rose, and vanilla. Cas.

The last, and the best option is their bedroom, and as Dean approaches it, he feels Castiel's scent thicken.

But something is wrong.

Is Cas... is Cas upset?

Although not easily noticeable in his scent, Dean does pick up on it in their bond, especially when he walks closer to the bedroom. A soft nudge to the door sends it creaking open, and once again, Dean finds himself stunned at the pitch-black darkness in the room.

"Cas?"

In response, Dean only hears a sniffle.

Perplexed, worried, intrigued, Dean reaches out in the darkness, to scout against the wall for the light switch. He flips it on, and at once, a soft, white light illuminates the room.

Lying on the far edge of the bed, dressed in one of Dean's big, loose shirts, with his hands buried against his face, is Castiel. A soft, sad wave of unease floats in the air, and Dean steps forward with caution.

"Baby?"  
He asks again, and once again, the only response he gets, is a sniffle and the slight twitch of Castiel's fingers.

_So, he's awake._

Without another word, Dean drops his office backpack down on the floor, against the door panel, and trudges over to the edge of the bed, where Castiel has his back turned to Dean, only the mess of his silky, raven hair on display. As Dean rounds the corner of the bed, he notices Castiel's shut eyes, the red flush spread across his face, and an odd dampness on his cheeks.

"Cas? Sweetheart?"

When Castiel doesn't respond, Dean decides he's going to have to get to the bottom of this.

Something is bothering Castiel.

_His mate is crying. Has been crying._

Dean sighs, and toes his boots off, followed by his socks, and he lets them fall at the foot of the bed, as he loosens his tie, rolls his sleeves up, and drops onto the bed, crawling back and rolling onto his side, until his chest is pressed against his mate's lean body, which appears smaller now that he has his shoulders drawn in.

"Cas..."  
Dean coos against his mate's neck, wrapping his arms around Castiel's round, eight-month-pregnant belly. Castiel stirs, and his eyes blink open, not as if he's been sleeping, but as if he's been crying.

"Hi."

At last, Castiel speaks, and yet, his voice is soft, broken and wet.

"What's wrong, baby?"  
Dean asks, nosing against his mate's scent gland, throwing a leg over Castiel to press even closer to him. Dean's hands travel under Castiel's shirt, over his big, round belly, and up to his chest.

Castiel sniffles.

And then.

A sob cracks through the room. Then another, and another, and another.

It takes Dean a single moment to realise.

Castiel is crying.

"Baby? What's wrong, hey, talk to me sweetheart, what's wrong?"  
Dean's voice rises with alarm, not the calm, soothing note anymore as he pushes himself up and leans over Castiel, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. Cas's cheeks are red, his eyes scrunched, as tears pour down his face without a pause, and Dean feels his tiny, soft hands squeeze Dean's. The bond between them feels heavy, laden with unease, and it causes Dean to feel an anchor drop in his chest. In Cas's current state, it might be risky to try to maneuver him into rolling on the other side, but before Dean can consider it, Castiel is rolling himself, with so much effort to be cautious about his belly, and yet, even as he tries to reach for Dean, his belly stands in the way, big and proud, and Dean can do nothing but hold him in his arms, and stare at his beautiful, teary face until he calms down.

"Cas, baby, c'mon, its alright, talk to me, omega, what's wrong, sweetheart? Did something happen? Did someone say anything to you? Did you watch Titanic again?"

The joke falls flat as worry overpowers Dean's words, and in response, Castiel simply cries again, the sound of his sobs ripping through the air, sad and erratic.

It breaks Dean's heart.

"Shh, baby, talk to me–" Dean reaches out now, wiping Castiel's face with his palms, running his fingers through his hair, holding his mate's jaw in his hands as he searches for some semblance of an explanation.

"Dean..." Castiel says between a sob, pulling Dean closer to himself, despite the belly bump, "-why do you like me? I'm so... M'so ugly now."

_What the hell?_

Dean's eyes wide, and he jerks up, cupping Castiel's face in his hands.  
"Woah, what the heck, where's that coming from, baby?! Who said you're ugly? Cas, hey, what's going on? See, you gotta' tell me what's wrong, 'cause you say shit about yourself and it makes me so angry, because that's not you."

Castiel's expression softens, and his sobs subdue into a sniffle as he blinks his big, blue eyes up at Dean, eyes that always remind Dean of everything beautiful in the world.

With a soft hiccup, Castiel starts speaking, his hands wrapping around Dean's wrists to hold him close.

"I, I, I, went to Hannah's house this morning. For our get-together, y'know, the one where all the pregnant omegas and betas were gunna' be?"

"Mhmm."

"And, and, and," Castiel sniffles, wiping a hand over his lips before continuing, "-and everyone was there. Hannah, she looked so beautiful. I mean, she was glowing with a pup. Like some kind of goddess. She was smiling, and laughing, and she looked so pretty. We talked to her, you know, if she'd been feeling down about her pregnancy at all, and if the pup ever made her sick, and she was just, laughing, like some kind of model, and she kept saying how beautiful and smooth her pregnancy was."  
Castiel pauses at that, looking away now, his lips in a small pout.

"Then what, baby?"  
Dean urges, and runs his fingers through Castiel's hair absently, loving the way they feel like silk under his skin.

"– y'know, y'know, Victor cheated on Alfie. He was cryin'. He said Victor thought he was gettin' ugly, gettin' all fat and big, and he needed someone pretty. Alfie was so sad. He wouldn't stop crying. It just... It just made me wonder, y'know."

_Dean does not like where this is going._

"Wonder about what?"

Castiel looks up at Dean, fat tears spilling down his face as his lips quiver, and he looks on the verge of another sob, so without a word, Dean presses him close to his chest.

"I'm not pretty, Dean. I get uglier each day. Look at me," Cas sobs, and at once, Dean feels a shard of wood impale through his heart, "-I'm not like I used to be. I'm not thin, and bendy, and I'm not the way you liked me. I'm just big and fat, and I'm tired all the time, I'm sleepy all the time, and I know the pup is changing everything, and I know it's hurting you–"

_Wait, what?_

"–I know, we don't even have sex anymore, and I don't wear those nice clothes anymore, and I just lie around the house all day, eating and watching T.V, getting fat and lazy, and I know you do all the work around the house, you even make me breakfast, you pack lunch for me, and still, sometimes I shout at you, I fight with you, I get moody... You shouldn't be here, Dean."

Tears sting Dean's eyes.

_Is that what his mate feels?_

For a moment, he can't respond.

He just can't believe Castiel would feel something like this. Like he's not good enough. Like he doesn't mean the world to Dean. Like Dean wouldn't leave the world behind in an instance to be with him.

"I think you should find someone else. Someone prettier, someone who doesn't get mad at you, or snap at you for little things, someone who knows how to be a good mate. You should find someone else, Dean. Like Victor did."

It's a second after Castiel has finished speaking where Dean feels his heart shatter into a million, tiny pieces.

"Alright," He whispers into the silence, waiting for Castiel's reaction.

"Alright?"  
Castiel asks, as if it's not what he expected Dean to answer.

"Alright. I'll find someone pretty. I'll find someone who can cook and sweep. I'll find someone who doesn't get mad at me. I'll find someone who isn't _big and fat_ with my pup. And then what?"

"Then you stay with her."  
Castiel mumbles, and God, Dean can't take it anymore. His lip quivers with the need to cry, and yet, for his omega, he tries to stay strong. Right now, only one of them can afford to cry. One of them needs to be strong.

It's no secret that the pregnancy has changed Castiel.

He gets tired more often, he gets exhausted, he lies on the couch and watches T.V for hours, and eats take-out almost on a daily basis. He snaps at Dean for something as silly as laundry, and he cries over something as stupid as a Pamper's diaper advertisement on TV. He pukes, he gets nauseated, he doesn't shower for days, he can't walk right before wanting to sit down for a while, and his cheeks have a soft, careless stubble dotting them, and he gets grumpy all the time, he gets happy at random times, and overall, the pregnancy has been a trainwreck for the omega. And there's only so much a tiny, pregnant omega can take.

"Mhm. Right. So you're saying, I should give up my beautiful, gorgeous, big, round omega, who's pregnant with my pup, whom I have loved for more than ten years, whom I have been blessed enough to be mated with, whom I have been lucky enough to get married to and come home to each evening, and for what?"

Castiel sniffles, but doesn't answer.

Dean pulls away, finding Castiel's eyes and holding them, staring into his mate's beautiful, blue eyes, laden with glassy, round tears as he sniffles.

"Baby, how do I even begin to explain to you how beautiful you are? The most gorgeous, the most breathtaking, the most grouchy, the most silly, the most adorable omega I have ever met in my life, and you're my mate. You're mine. And nothing, nothing could ever tire me of you."  
The tears stinging Dean's eyes slip through, streaming down his cheek, and Castiel's eyes follow the movement for a moment, before meeting Dean's eyes again.

"Cas, I don't care if you're not bendy or thin and tiny anymore. You know, every time I look at you, look at your belly, look at our pup, I just, I can't breathe. I can't breathe because you're here, and you're real, and you have our beautiful, tiny little pup growing inside you, and I don't care if you're not tiny and glowing like Hannah, I don't care that you don't shower for two days, or that you keep eating take-out on the couch, and keep watching that stupid, Impractical Jokers show with your big, stupid, beautiful little laugh, and trust me, that show is far from funny, and I don't care about doing the housework or the laundry, or cooking lunch, or fighting with you over the chores, you know why?"

Castiel, utterly silent, his tears now having stopped, his eye brows furrowed as he gazes up at Dean, only whispers, in the softest voice, "-why?"

"'Cause I love you so much. And I know that as long as you're happy, and as long as you're healthy, and our pup's healthy, I'll do anything. I mean it. I'll do anything to keep seeing you laugh, to keep seeing you smile, to keep coming home to you. Don't you see, Cas, you're the best thing in my life, baby, you're my biggest win."

Dean's voice trembles as tears stain his face, and in a mirror of some time ago, Castiel is the one who wipes his tears away, and snuggles closer to his chest.

"You're the only thing I pray for, Cas. And you know me, baby, Dean Winchester does _not_ pray."

Silence fills the room as Castiel stares at Dean. Something odd, something inscrutable, something between fondness and disbelief, something between peace and misery, flashes across Castiel's face, and Dean expects him to say something, but instead, Castiel simply pulls Dean closer, pulls him down until Dean's face is buried against Castiel's neck.

Dean breathes in the scent of lavender, lets it wash over him, sniffling into the crook of his omega's shoulder, arms squeezing softly around his belly.

"I'm sorry," Castiel croaks out, "-I thought..."

"Don't think anymore," Dean cuts him off, rather loudly, and feels the rumble of a soft chuckle within Castiel's chest.

"I... You really mean that Dean? You won't leave me? Ever?"

"Never, you idiot."

With his arms wrapped tight around his omega, their pup growing in his belly, between them, Dean feels an odd wave of calm wash over him. He snuggles closer to Castiel's chest, feeling his omega drops a soft kiss to his forehead.

"Stupid omega."  
He mutters, and earns himself a teary laugh, before Castiel is smiling again, right into Dean's skin, and the sight itself is enough to have another round of tears spilling down Dean's face.

_Geez, so much for being the strong one._

"You ever talk about shit like that again, I'm cutting the T.V cable. No more Impractical Jokers for you."

Castiel gasps, and pulls away with an offended glare.

"You wouldn't."  
He growls, and at least he isn't crying anymore.

Dean stares at him for a moment, simply watching as his omega pouts at him.

_His omega. His mate._

A wicked grin pulls at Dean's lips.

"Don't test me, omega."

**Author's Note:**

> yeah we love pregnant cas in this house. leave a kudos and a comment, also send me a prompt on tumblr, if you want, cause im bored.  
> my tumblr is @psyleedee.


End file.
